For me it was " I don’t struggle with understanding people’s emotions"

Then it was pointed out to me that I have spent years watching people and learning how they work.

Turns out people are my trains.

Here at Apple we are different, not better just different.

I just don’t like reading digital books it just feels gross , which is odd because I will read scientific papers on my phone all day long.

I prefer the feal of a real book, which is odd because paper in general feels gross to me.

When I had a Facebook page under job I put “Caprinae parasite detection specialist” which ment I stand around watching goats shit.

Hey felbane llm, should I get a face tattoo?

Yep but instead of “name something a woman keeps in her purse” it’s “write my legal document” or “is it ok to lick a lamp socket”

I explain it as asking 100 people to Google something and taking the most common answer.

Good thing this didn’t happen in Florida, difficult to find a pun involving French fries washing up on a beach.

I have a book " at the hands of persons unknown" it is the history of lynching in America.

Lots of pictures, none of the lynched people in them ever told anyone they had been lynched.

“FUCK OTHER PEOPLE”

This message brought to you by the foundation for the protection of large trucks.

Shirt, not pants.

Herpetologist are studying the sexlives of a rare snake, they flying adder. Dr Seymore Bird is quoted as saying “This sh*t is kinky”

Just give me rng on all but hosta, hosta can go get fucked.

I will admit I get enjoyment from guiding pseudo intelligent down the path of discovering that absolutely nothing is real and for as far as we are able to detect everything may as well be the fever dream of a turtle.

If I was famous the news would be “1d10 seen in a different outfit for the first time, their publicist has been contacted and states,“we are all concerned but hopefully it’s just a fluke””

Works like this, cop gets told to look out for your car. He sees you and follows you, sooner or later you do something that let’s him justify pulling you over then he asks you a bunch of questions and decides you are acting nervous, or smells alcohol, or smells pot. Then he either convinces you to let him search your car or he gets a dog to come say it smells drugs, or and this is my favorite he gets you upset by getting in your personal space and amping you up, then when he quickly reaches for your arm and you jerk away he can arrest you for resisting. Then they search the car to make sure everything is documented for impound, then they seize money and expensive things to make sure it isn’t connected to any crimes.

Charges against you get dropped or you plead to something lesser and you walk, but now you have to prove that your shit was legally yours.

In theory you could have a system that monitors input and then uses a precise amount of water to vacate the bowl.

My ex would try to maintain an exact speed by slightly ecxelerating then let off the gas over and over, just tap tap tap on the gas. 100 miles of tiny lurches.

And every one of them is hot.

I can honestly see them kicking Vance out putting puppy killer in as VP and declaring that the election should be postponed for 6months so she can have the same chance Harris had.