Weed —> iambic pentameter

So, over the course of a year I get 30 minutes that aren’t ads?

And picture this: she had a whole camera/lighting/set/production crew to capture this moment to broadcast absolute gibberish to the world. WTF is even happening?

Don’t worry, shrinkflation can somewhat absolve your gluttony because today’s “family size” oreos are the same size as normal packages used to be.

So basically she was speaking gibberish that is best ignored, just like we can ignore everything her husband says.

But I don’t want to be a dragon. I want to be a kitty cat whose most urgent task is seeking out all the warm spots to sleep in all day.

That guy’s mom must be so proud he made it on Broadway.

Is this implying that everyone on those stranded-on-a-desert-island shows are just actors and they stay in hotels and live comfortably when the camera isn’t on them?