Okay this is actually funny

Dark past?

I could barely find any sticks when I was car shopping, and they were all base models. I finally found a dealer with a manual Impreza but it was actually more expensive than the automatic next to it with a sunroof and heated seats

Pantyhose is even worse!

I always get a chuckle out of “cApItAliSm” being in fun lettering

Not all grocery stores have fresh sweet potatoes all the time either

“Yam” doesn’t roll off the tongue as beautifully or sound nearly as appetizing

They’re quicker for making sweet potato pie since they’re already cooked. You add plenty of other ingredients to the filling so there’s less difference in the final product between canned and fresh

Oooh mommy

You motherfucker

For our senior prank we went around for weeks picking up furniture left on curbs. We managed to set up full living room dioramas in front of the school with couches, recliners, coffee tables, TVs, etc. A bunch of people came back and used the furniture for their apartments when they moved out after graduation

Wash it down with a shot of corn oil and bone broth

Dracula <3

I audibly cheered!!!

I’m gonna need a source for the “tastes like shrimp” thing. How do you even taste anything other than shell???