I need a bird who can record a Commodore 64 tape for me. :p That’s what I want.

I spent 24 years busting my ass so someone could go on RV trips every other week.

I’m out. If I do nothing for the rest of my life I’m good with it.

I’m thankful that food has never been an issue for me.

If I eat more than twice a day, I’ll be so sick I can’t stand it. If I’m going to a party or family gathering where food will be served, I skip dinner and breakfast leading up to it so that I’ll be able to enjoy it.

Drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes though. Good god. Lifelong struggle. I’ve been sober from everything but alcohol and nicotine for a decade now. It’s time to get the ball rolling.

I have been in positions where the world forced me to stop drinking for short periods of time. I handled it fine, I just need to make the jump.

I would walk 5 miles in the snow for a single cigarette though. I would fight anyone for the chance to smoke if I haven’t had one for a while. You could catch me in a trap like a wild animal if you just stuck some cigarettes on there where the bait would normally go.

It has been the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life. I quit for 12 days one time and got fired from job for cussing the boss out. I lose my head so damn bad when I haven’t had nicotine that it is unreal.

You gonna do what I do and buy all the wrong shit anyway, then get halfway home and remember, turn around and go back to the store, then forget again but remember something you needed last week?

Oh yeah, and then find your list right before bed.

No I didn’t. Thank you. I’ll check it out.

I’m cross eyed. Can’t get a third dot. Boooooooo

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Man I’m still finding out crazy lies she told on me.

Talked to my sister the other night and we got on the subject, she said, “You were pretty sadistic to her at times, but she was nuts.” I replied, “Sadistic? I wasn’t always kind to her, but sadistic? That’s a stretch.”

“Well, she told me some crazy stuff, like when you stuck a screwdriver in your ear and hit it with a hammer if she didn’t say exactly what you wanted her to say when you thought she was lying once.”

HOLY SHIT!

I said, “Well, I still have my hearing. If there was any truth to that, wouldn’t I be deaf? Like, at least in one ear?”

When I caught her with the guy she ended up with, she swore she was raped. He’s such a great guy too, and I’d never tell him that because it would crush him. He took care of her as she died from cancer.

Man, oh man. The stories I have with that girl. She lied about anything and everything. According to her, I beat her, raped her, was responsible for every failure in her life.

We were about to close on a loan for a home when she left me and I had to back out. She just sabotaged everything constantly. She took our daughter, left, told me her sister’s husband had guns so I’d better not come over to try to get my daughter. I said in anger, “If your plan is to keep my kid from me, he’ll need those guns to stop me from coming to get her.”

Phone calls from her family started coming in. “How dare you threaten to shoot up a house with your kid in it!?” What!? She said that? That isn’t what happened.

Beat herself up, sent me picture. “This is me without you. I’m literally tearing myself apart.”

Sent the same pictures to friends and family. “He beat me!”

Tried to convince our daughter that she witnessed me choking her out.

Good lord.

Life was good up until I caught her cheating the first time (verified anyway) and everything went nuts after that.

I have my daughter in therapy. For me, this chaos passed pretty quick. For her, it was a significant portion of her life.

Hey hey hey.

She was diagnosed with BPD right at the end of our relationship after I caught her cheating over and over again.

Of course once she done research on BPD I was lying and making it up and she never told me that.

Good lord man. What a nightmare it all was.

My poor daughter, she reminds me so much of her mother.

I remember when I first moved in with her. We were friends. We shared a room and a king size bed and nothing happened between us for months, and then it did.

She was sweet for about two weeks. The first time it happened I remember waking up thinking she was being attacked. “AHHHHHHH!” I sat up in the bed in horror. “WHY WON’T YOU FUCKING LATHER?!!!?” BANG, BANG, BANG

I got up and pecked on the door, “Is everything alright in there?” sobbing “Yes, it’s just this fucking shampoo. It won’t fucking lather. I keep dumping it on my stupid fucking head and it’s barely even soap!”

I sat down just bewildered. Like, seriously? That meltdown occurred because the shampoo wasn’t lathering to her standards? I used it all the time. I’m a man who doesn’t care about those things, I just bought what my mom always bought. I never had a problem with it. Hell, it’s 20 years later and I still buy the stuff.

The next time I woke up to a slam and clattering metal sounds. I walked into the kitchen. “FUCK THIS PAN! FUCK THIS STOVE! I give up, GODDAMMIT!!” She had turned on the wrong burner.

It started happening more often until it was every single morning. I snapped at her one morning. BAM I slapped the bathroom door. “CUT THIS SHIT OUT! I’M SICK OF WAKING UP TO SCREAMING EVERY MORNING!” She sobbed, apologized, stopped for a few days, fired right back up when she was more comfortable.

I started setting my alarm earlier than hers so I could get up and go outside until she cooled off. She never, ever, ever woke up in a good mood.

She’s been dead for 3 years now, but man, my daughter will carry her shit around for a lifetime.

I can control it with her though, calm her down, shut her up, but you gotta be careful haha. NEVER compare her to her mother, even if you’re just trying to be sweet or funny.

My daughter is only about a tenth as bad as her mom was with it, but even that can be exhausting.

I just heard this name for the first time yesterday. I have no idea what it is, but I was really upset that I didn’t think of that name.

Oh god I heard that constantly as a kid. Gah. Now they’re all married to Facebook and don’t know how to use it. Oh well.

Yes. Man.

I miss when you could look forward to new games at all times.

Now I just play old games over and over. I’ve beat Super Metroid like 8 times this year.

Good God, this one hits home for me. “He’s always in his room on his cuhpyooter.” “He’s a hacker, he’s a nerd.” Ummm, no. I’m just pretending to be a girl and swapping tit pics with other dudes who are pretending to be girls and playing video games. Y’all living in the stone age with your magazines and your Nintendo. I’m in my room with every Nintendo game ever made and a new pair of tits to look at anytime I want.

Now half of those people are fumbling around and giving scammers 200 dollars, constantly glued to their little 30 dollar smart phones and “playing on Facebook”. And of course, they be calling me to ask how to find an app they got from the play store. “It used to just go on the screen I swear.”

Their golden age was long gone.

They might have had another if the US hadn’t pushed them around.

Oh wow. Hahahaa

I swear to god, I forget how stupid people are sometimes.

And three people downvoted you. My man got receipts.

You gotta screenshot things like that.

I don’t usually say this buuuut, you need Jesus.

I still have the old link to my voip app, which I started using in 2008/09 with USB hardware plugged into my computer. I still have that hardware but I doubt it works. I also still have an email full of voicemails up until I stopped paying for it, which it turns out was 2020, not 2019.

I’d still be doing it today, but after my wife got pregnant she told me I had to get a phone.

Funny thing, the very night I activated it I had a blowout on the side of the road and called her so I could yank the spare from the back of her vehicle and get home.

We both drove near identical jeeps at the time and I was already on my spare.

Of course I got the whole, “SEE! You’d be waiting on me to miss you and come out looking for you if you didn’t get this phone!”

I hate having a phone to this day. I really wish I could just vanish completely from everyone from time to time.

I found a spot at the lake near me that has no service recently, so I’m going to pretend to go fishing this summer and just go sit there.

I am more and more convinced every day that I’m not neurotypical. My mother said to me on Sunday, “oh lord, the way you think. You’ve always had the same brain and I’d tell you to take things a different way and your grandma would say, “leave that baby alone. He’s just creative. Let him be weird.””

I’m definitely not right.