Motherfucker.

Maybe they meant procrasturbation

I hear there’s a remake in the works

So noone told you death was gonna be this way

Lisan al Ghaib!

Zombie Jesus will surely forgive us

“fanfic” absolutely sent me. That’s exactly what it is. Stealing!

“Take this and eat it” works in either context.

You’re saying the grain from Ukraine stays mainly on the train?

Farm Fresh from Gaza to Tijuana to a town near you: it’s Foucault’s Boomerang!

I need to hear more about this date.

Give it up for Jimmy Carter

Patrick and his five brothers.

As you wish, you piece of shit.

KEVIN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

I like the cut of your jibes, sir or ma’am.

No fucking shit.

How good are vandals though

Whoof I absolutely could not get into nbcnews without disabling my ad blocker. Guess I’m not visiting them any more :/

Edit: thank goodness for autotldr! ❤️

She’ll age more than most of us, if she survives at all. A forced famine was always part of the plan.